第三十九章:歸屬的地方 新
???迷茫???知?未??什?樣????知??己應該怎樣活??每????屬於?己?追求???追求財富???追求權????追求?由?
昌學表叔公姓陳?祖輩本??馬鬃嶺山腳?家灣?????搬?馬鬃嶺?????嶺?建???獨立?房??世世代代住??馬鬃嶺?直?昌學表叔公??代?昌學表叔公跟?爹差???年紀?初?畢業??跟??己?哥哥??家灣河???煤礦??直???結婚?
?爹?老家??候跟???學???挖煤?常識??爹??候每年???挖煤?勘測?形?找煤礦?設計礦洞??跟昌學表叔公學??????常坐??擺??話題?因??爹???年代?高???算?文化高????所?昌學表叔公?常?把?爹請????礦?????爹從???離??家?
昌學表叔公?爹??和善?老??活??十?歲才?疾?終????叫?老祖??老祖?世??候?常?逛?串串門?偶爾???家坐坐????打牌???抽煙??農村??抽土煙???打長牌?老??少?每次?????坐?陪?公吹吹閑牛???編??農具?農村最難編???曬席和簸箕?特別?複雜???????公跟?學??段???卻??學??所???從???????公編?曬席?
老祖?世??候??年紀?太??所?印象並?深刻???記?偶爾?放牛??候?從?家門?路???跟?打打招呼?倒?昌學表叔公?哥哥?兩?兒??因?跟??兄弟兩年齡懸殊????常????玩?老?比?哥????老?跟?同歲?因?特別調皮??母親??川???倆??川待???比?馬鬃嶺呆??????所?周圍???叫老?“川耗兒”?
老?喜歡跟?哥?棋?軍棋?象棋???棋????????倆?棋??候??常?旁邊???????教?“馬走斜日炮翻山?車走直路象行田”?老?“川耗兒”喜歡跟???玩鬧?????兩?????家??玩?
昌學表叔公兄弟倆挖煤??候倒?掙??少錢???????哥哥病死??嫂?帶?兩?孩?回??川老家改?嫁?從此??再???見???兄弟倆??昌學表叔公接?哥哥留???煤礦?卻又??經營管理??兩年垮??兩兄弟?年?積蓄全賠??精光?於?處理?礦場???打工???跟??幫同鄉走南闖北幹工??
???己買?鑽機幫?工??打鑽??獨?????外??己掙錢?己花?倒?輕鬆???每年?年??候?昌學表叔公??回?馬鬃嶺?家????外外打掃幹淨???己買點油米?周圍鄰?弄?菜???????年?
再??昌學表叔公回???候?帶???女?回??????工??認識??兩?????擺酒席????領?結婚證?叫?至親?幾???家?吃??頓飯?昌學表叔公?家?安靜?呆?兩年?直?兒?????漸漸?感覺??家?入?敷????經濟?源???又??門?
昌學表叔公?媳婦??候受?傷???????指?所??幹??農活???留?家?帶?孩??昌學表叔公??常?回??每次工??忙完???急匆匆?回?住?幾????又急匆匆?????工????樣?奔忙???似乎找??屬於?己?快樂和幸福????活???向???努????目標?
再?兩年?又添???女兒?昌學表叔公??活?始水深火熱?????快樂??????憂愁???快樂???從?????己???單??輩?????料娶?媳婦???又兒女雙全???年?????最幸運???憂愁???年紀?經漸漸???孩???怎?辦??今?年紀再?工??廝混?經??從???再往??日?需?怎樣???
?把馬鬃嶺老家?組屋賣??賣給?福老祖??己帶?媳婦孩???市??租???房?讓媳婦帶?孩?住???己依舊滿世界奔波勞碌???漸漸?買鑽機??越?越???找?打鑽??越?越少??昌學表叔公越?越苦惱??次次??把鑽機賣掉?再找別?什?活計???己?把年紀??除??把?????別?活??做?
??市???候?昌學表叔公?常?跟?打電話?問??做?什??????住????跟?訴???苦惱???????法??又?知????行?年紀越???越?謹慎??分???????????考察????行業?每種行業似乎??幹?????己做?種?行?行業???????迷茫??知?什?樣?行業適合?做??且?提???養?活家??娘仨?
?????理解??感受???理解?種?存?急迫感???己?常???存邊緣徘徊??樣??活?讓?崩潰?昌學表叔公???處??樣?崩潰邊緣??焦急??光???己?????女??????兒女??
???勸??車?山?必?路????經曆??樣?焦慮?哪怕??樣???己??存焦慮????焦慮和???樣????依舊?工??遊走?依舊活??存?邊緣?兩?孩???經?始?學??雖???國家?經?學齡兒童免費????依舊???孩??每???活奔走?
???????年給孩??鋪?條路????何其艱難??活給??沉重壓?使?衰老?更快??段??回家??孩???再????候?路?縣城???家坐?坐????昌學表叔公??全?????臉絡腮胡???刮???頹廢???憔悴?卻依舊笑嘻嘻???“??掙命呐?”